At the start of the year, I said this would be a capacity-building year. Not just talk—practice. In Christ, I’m pursuing growth emotionally, relationally, physically, educationally, financially, and spiritually. Many of you are on that journey too. Last week, as we sat with Matthew 5:21–26, conviction met us. That’s good. But conviction is only step one. The question now is: how do we obey when obedience is hard—especially the command to be reconciled?
Jesus never calls us to white-knuckle holiness. He gives us Himself. “If you love me, keep my commands. And I will ask the Father, and he will give you another Advocate… the Spirit of truth” (John 14:15–17). Obedience without the Spirit becomes performance. Obedience with the Spirit becomes transformation.
What Jesus Meant by “Be Reconciled”
Jesus goes beneath the act to the heart—warning against the anger that labels, gossips, and judges from the throne that belongs to God alone. Anger as an emotion isn’t sin; Jesus Himself showed righteous anger in the temple. The call is this: in your anger, do not sin (Ephesians 4:26). Move toward the person, not away. Seek peace, not payback.
Left to ourselves, we’ll try reconciliation with sharpened words and folded arms. That’s not agape. Agape is God’s self-giving love poured into our hearts by the Holy Spirit (Romans 5:5). It is patient and kind; it keeps no record of wrongs; it rejoices with the truth; it bears, believes, hopes, and endures (1 Corinthians 13:4–7). Agape chooses the right thing even when it costs us comfort.
Obedience Over Outcomes
We live in a world discipled by hedonism—do what pleases you, avoid what hurts. But kingdom people are discipled by the cross. Hebrews 11 lists saints whose obedience ended in victory and others whose obedience ended in suffering. Both were commended for their faith. Success isn’t getting the outcome you prefer; success is doing what Jesus asks.
So, when Jesus says “be reconciled,” the win is your faithful step—even if the conversation is awkward, even if the response is cold, even if restoration takes time. “Let us run with perseverance… fixing our eyes on Jesus… Consider him… so that you will not grow weary and lose heart” (Hebrews 12:1–3).
Guarding Your Inner Life While You Obey
“Rejoice in the Lord always… Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near… by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God… and the peace of God… will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus” (Philippians 4:4–7). Before you go to them, go to Him. Let peace guard you as you walk into hard obedience.
Walking It Out: Six Simple Practices
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Pray for your own heart
Ask the Spirit to clothe you “with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience… And over all these virtues put on love” (Colossians 3:12–14). Confess pride, fear, and defensiveness. Receive fresh grace.
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Pray for them
Ask God to soften, to reveal, to draw, to prepare (Philippians 1:9–11). You cannot change a heart, but you can invite the One who does.
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Move toward, not away
Name the issue honestly; confront humbly. Speak the truth in love—neither aggressive nor evasive (Matthew 18:15–18; Ephesians 4:15). Your tone matters as much as your points.
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Bless and encourage
Where you can, affirm what is true and good. Look for ways to serve, not score. Love “always hopes.”
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Give grace as you’ve received grace
“Bear with each other and forgive one another… Forgive as the Lord forgave you” (Colossians 3:13). Release the ledger. Choose mercy.
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Remember: you’re someone’s “difficult person,” too
Humility keeps the door open. The goal isn’t to win; it’s to become like Christ together.
Capacity-Building Commitments
Capacity-building question: Who will I obey—my instincts or Jesus?
Capacity-building exercise: Be reconciled—take the first faithful step this week.
Capacity-building posture: I will honor God in heart and in action, leaving outcomes to Him.
